FRESH STARTS

When one survives the trauma of abandonment, betrayal, and loss, she often survives because functioning to keep life going with no emotion tied to it becomes her new mode of operation. She draws strength from the deepest part of herself and operates on autopilot.

After losing the strongest man in my life, my Dad, I had finally found my new normal and felt a sense of peace two and a half years later. Unfortunately, my mom was to go next with no preparation or warning. This put me into a spin of despair, self-blame, and mourning. I started to shake internally.

Some might refer to this as a physical response to trauma. My kids and I lost our best friend one week before my son’s graduation from high school on June 12th. It was devastating.

Fast forward three months to October 1 st, and this would be the first seven-month-long business trip to Asia that my spouse and father of my children would take. Unlike my parents, his was a voluntary abandonment. I was not only left with the horrible effects of it, such as trauma and mourning; I was left with three college-aged children—one who was entering as a freshman, another a sophomore, and the oldest a senior.

The third exodus came when a few close people couldn’t handle the situation. That was fine because, after the horrifying shock of losing the first three, nobody else mattered to me anymore except for my three children.

I began the process of moving on. I surrounded myself with very few and put myself into survival mode. This included my divorce attorney and a therapist. This therapist was replaced by a health coach who literally became my surrogate mom. She kept me going for four years. I then began seeing my current therapist, who recognized the PTSD that I was suffering from. In our four years together, we have worked very hard to get me to where I am now. During this time, I pursued a certification as a Life Coach with an emphasis on The Law of Attraction.

I then became one of Christy Whitman’s 50 worldwide certified coaches in The Desire Factor, based on the teachings in her book, released in April 2021. Her programs have helped me positively change my life.

while gaining the tools to help others improve their lives and manifest all that is possible.

In my future blogs, I will share more of my journey and how this new life is progressing positively. Humor is an essential key component to coping with any difficult life situation. Enjoying my new independent role has empowered me to do things that only became possible because of my role as the sole person. I am now the “Head Honcho” and enjoy all the perks that come with it. There are many things that have worked for me that will hopefully help many others who are transitioning into a new stage of life empowered.